The Scottish beef Club Tour bears no reference to the pipers on this trip, although some of the local Senoras will probably argue with that. It started once again with Hawick Pipe Band being charged with supplying some of the most highly talented musicians that money could buy, and sending them into the wild blue yonder , that being Italy to help promote Aberdeen Angus (the finest beef in the world) to the friendly people of northern Italy. The two lucky pipers who were chosen for this occasion were none other than Pipe Major Cammy Renwick and the now Pipe Major of Stow Stuart Robinson. Off the  pipers went one traditionally wet Scottish morning to catch the 10:00 am British Airways super shuttle to London Heathrow only to laze about in a bar or two before catching the connecting flight to Milan and the start of the great beef sale. On our arrival we were met by Jeff Martin  who was the promotions manager for the Scottish beef club, now Jeff had some good news and some bad news for us. First the good news, one of us was to appear on a T.V. commercial and the bad news was that we were to be split up and one of us was to move on to spend the rest of the promotion in Venice. We decided to flip a coin but Jeff Martin insisted on an acting audition and character references as the commercial was to be shot in Milan and naturally they wanted the best, so the next day we all said goodbye to Stuart as he headed off to Venice for the next eleven days

Now it was down to work which was playing the pipes in front of the meat counters in the Capadora Supermarkets . The drill was to play at the door for a wee while then march in with a good 6/8 then proceed to the butchers department, then play another few selections and pose for a few photographs and fish for a few kisses with the bonnie Italian lassies. This went on seven times a day for the rest of the trip except for the filming day, I was to have the morning off and report for Duty at lunch time. We started with a little light lunch before going over the script, it was then that no make up was required for the piper as ones natural looks was deemed good enough for ones adoring Italian public. Then it all began, the clapper board snapped and the cameras rolled, there were lights everywhere, and after many different angles the shot was finally in the can, it was a rap, cheering and high fives were going on all around me as I slipped on my shades and made my exit through the screaming masses ( A star at last)  This trip was really a live out of a suitcase job, it involved moving to different locations around the Milanese metropolis which meant that every two days it was time to move on to another hotel. At least it didn't get boring but trying to find a wee pub was proving to be difficult.

At the end of our trip Stuart came back from Venice and I went down to the railway station to meet him off the train and accompany him back to the Fleapitte Hotel where Stuart showed me his new scud book collection which he had built up over the tour, my personal favorite being Shaving Ryan's Privates. The next day it was time to say goodbye and jet off home over the lovely Alps with a Gin and Tonic in one hand and a cigarette in the other "ah the good old days with smoking sections" But before I rap this up I would firstly like thank the D.T.I. for using us again on this trip and also Jeff Martin from the Scottish Beef Club and secondly I would like to take this opportunity to say to the greedy English farmers "Cows eat grass, not mashed up sheep "you greedy B*****ds started mad cow disease (BSE) So thanks for messing up a good yearly trip.

P.S. Scottish Beef was unaffected by this disease

Report By P/M Cammy Renwick